Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
