He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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