Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
