my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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