benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
