Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
