Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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