In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
