can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
