Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
