Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
