omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I will be naked everywhere
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
