if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
