so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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