thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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