Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
