She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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