I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
