is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
