Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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