he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
