i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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