That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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