yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
