so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
