a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
