it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
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