And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
