just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
