everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize