We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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