Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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