If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
