yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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