i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
