You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
