You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The maid of honor just puked.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
wow bdsm is so cute
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
