ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
