I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
