Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
