there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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