i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
