my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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