It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
