you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize