I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm passing your future prison.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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