that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
