We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
