I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
