U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
