I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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