"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize