Its about making memories worth repressing
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
