Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
