You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
