as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
