So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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