Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
