Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
