we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
