It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I think my moral compass just broke
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