I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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