oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
