I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
