yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
