how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't think brook has ever known best
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
