sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Houston, we have a squirter
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
