i'm lost and i look like a hooker
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
