i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
